So this is my first post and I've decided to write after I read the book. I guess I'm feeling a little stuck. Dating the same guy for 7 years and feeling that he is not the one for me half that time but too afraid to break it off. Wow I guess that makes me sound so weak.. It's not that I didn't love him.. but a part of me always felt that he was not the one for me.. it's really hard to explain. It's nothing that he did.. He loved me so much, too much in fact that I guess that's the thing thats keeping me from leaving. That and the fact that I've gotten so used to him and I feel completely alone without him around.
I keep thinking about the last months of our relationship. I did not want to spend time with him because I was so bored. I got bugged by everything he said or did. I left the country for a trip with some girlfriends just letting him know with only a text message. I have been kind of horrible to him yet still today he says he wants to get back together. Maybe that is the way to treat guys! jk. I feel terrible that I put him through all this stupid stuff but I don't know what's wrong with me. All the people around me are starting to get married and the thought of marrying him scares me to death.
He is the best guy I know.. He has never once cheated on me. Never hurt me. He is such a hadsome guy. Respects my family. He is a hard worker -though he is constantly failing- There is no one in the world that I trust more than him. Sometimes maybe I should just settle and marry him then I think that won't be fair to him or me. But I also can't bear the thought of him with someone else.. I know! Selfish right? I hate myself for that.
Maybe I am asking for too much. But I always imagined myself being deliriously happy and ridiculously in love with the men that I marry. When I imagine myself marrying him I feel like crying.
So right now we are in limbo. Not really broken up but definetly not together either. I guess it's me being selfish again.. Not letting him go.. But I have no idea how to.. He has been such a big part of me for so long that I can't imagine life without him. He is the kind of guy that takes care of you , someone who will drop everything to come to your rescue, stand by you through anything, never cheat, never stray, never hurt you.. which is why this is so hard..
Felt kinda good to write..
Stephaniej791 wrote 499 Days Ago (neutral)0Sounds like you have someone who is worth it but your not valuing him for the person he is. One person will always love someone more than the other. But what is it that your afraid of? Would you prefer him to treat you bad and not be the person he is because maybe then you would be interested and hold on to him. If you know you are being selfish we'll stop because what you are doing to him isn't fair. If you truly care for him be honest and fair to him. If you think he isn't for you then let him find happiness somewhere else. And just because everyone around you is getting married doesn't mean you need to. Be happy do what you want but don't hurt anyone along the way. Because that's what changes some people not all. But he sounds from what you say that he has a big heart that's not something you find everyday just remember that0 points