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Quote28.02.2012 22:070 people like thisLike
 

So I'm going through the workbook and it says to make yourself available by setting up a few profiles on dating sites, etc.  You don't have to "go on a date" you just have to flirt.  Well, I went on one- not an online guy- just a guy who happens to live near me.  The date was a DISASTER, but that's not the point.  The reason I'm writing is that I cried when I was leaving my place to go meet him and I cried the whole way there AND the whole way home.  I don't want to date anyone else!  I want to date HIM.  I want him to still love me- I want life to work out with him and I, but it won't because he's not real.  Who he made me believe he was and who he is are two TOTALLY different people and I'm afraid he's ruined me for all other men for the next year or so and I'm really afraid I'm gonna miss out on some really FUN and could be good-for-me experiences.  I met this other guy recently- he's SO handsome and really sweet, makes good money at a job that he LOVES, he has a nice apartment, goes to church, he doesn't have ANY of my deal-breakers, he's really smart and very responsible and he has asked me out twice and I keep telling him I'm busy and soon- he's gonna stop asking.  The thing is- I'm probably going to meet another man as fun as this one and he'll ask me out too and I'll want to go- but I won't.  There's something in me that just can't let go- that feels this odd sense of betrayal and sadness when HE IS THE ONE WHO LEFT- without a word- just high-tailed it outa' my life.  I don't understand my I- the strong, independent gal with good self-esteem- is holding onto this fake person. I really want to snap out of it and get on with my life but...I just don't know how. I can't talk about this to anyone I know- I feel like they have all heard/seen/experienced enough from this whole ordeal.  Humans can only take so much ya know? Ugh...well I guess tears never killed anyone- and neither has a broken heart.  Only on well written pages.  Even though it feels like you should die instantly- that you should implode from the hurt- no one I know has come close to critical condition. Tough it out or hide out...those are my choices. UGH

Quote29.02.2012 09:250 people like thisLike
 

I really think it's okay to NOT go on any dates until you feel up for it. It takes time to get over someone - especially someone you really loved - and accordingly, you should give yourself as much as you need!  The idea behind that exercise is to increase your self esteem - remind yourself that you are a desirable woman. And clearly, you are! But you're not over your ex, which is why you're not quick to hop into  a relationship (or a date) with someone else.  Maybe that guy will stop asking - but that doesn't mean that when you're ready that you can't ask HIM out. Give yourself a break. Take time. Heal. THEN find someone new. :)

 

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Quote05.03.2012 14:050 people like thisLike
 

How are you doing  lately?

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Quote05.03.2012 15:230 people like thisLike
 

It's a day- to- day thing.  I'm hangin' in there.  I'm going on a date on Thursday- I have a little bit of anxiety but not a lot. Hopefully it will dissipate as the week goes on.  I'm still looking for jobs- I've had a couple of interviews- we'll see.  I'm doing a lot of exercising and reading and cleaning my house- filling out endless applications.  It just comes and goes. It can be frustrating because you're restricted on where you can go- well maybe not everyone but I am.  I just freak out and cry on the way home when I know I'm in the same area and could possibly run into him.  I went out and put myself in that situation the other night thinking I could handle it- and maybe it would be good for him to see me looking pretty and hanging out with friends and doing well- laughing, etc. I was mistaken. Won't do that again. It's too bad he moved to the most interesting city in CT.! Oh well.  I guess I'm just tired of caring so much about him and what he did- I really just want to forget all about it- not dislike him- just be in a state of complete apathy in relation to him and everything related to him.  Hopefully I can land a job sometime soon so I can feel like I have a little bit of purpose.  I'll figure it out...hopefully soon!

Quote05.03.2012 19:270 people like thisLike
 

You will. And that's a great attitude. Look at all the dates you are getting, girl! When you're ready to go on a date for real, at least you can rest assured knowing they are lining up around the corner for you. I'm glad that you're figuring out what does and does not work for you. You're making progress, even though it may not feel like it.

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Quote06.03.2012 10:530 people like thisLike
 

Haha! You have such a great attitude! You should run live workshops and do public speaking events! Thanks for the encouragement. It really does help.

Quote07.03.2012 12:100 people like thisLike
 

Thank you. I am working on it. Smile But it definitely does mean a lot to hear that this is helping you.

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Quote07.03.2012 12:220 people like thisLike
 

Yeah! You should! MJ I am working on writing a review for Amazon.com. I will make a 5 star!

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